Sunday, February 28, 2010

Always in my heart

Transition is a rough thing. I keep thinking about how things are going to change with this new baby. I wonder if this is the last time I'll do certain mommy and me things with only one child. It's been me and Grace for over 5 years, and now there will be another precious thing. So I'm trying to remember the things she says now, since I assume with kindergarten and newborn in the fall, I'll have my hands full.

Today's was precious, as is she.

Ryan was playing the Wii and wasn't doing well, so he made some noise, that prompted Grace to go check on Daddy. By then, "Tiger Woods" Keith had recovered and was doing better, so he said, "I think Mommy's crying. Go check on her." She came running and told me that "Daddy said you were crying." I said, "No, I wasn't crying, but I did miss you." She responded, "Mom, that's silly. Don't cry. I'll always be in your heart."

Of course, then, her mommy was crying, a sobbing crying mess. It's been a struggle to explain to her all the things that are changing, why she can't climb on mommy's lap as easily as she used to or as roughly, why she'll probably get a new bedroom (although bigger, she wants to keep the smaller one), etc. but mommy's rollercoaster of emotion has been the worst. She's pretty sensitive so many times, she just cries with me.

As we approach the halfway point of this pregnancy, the fatigue is easing a bit, although I'm looking forward to April when I don't have to be at the school doing rehearsal, but I also plan on taking advantage of a great Master's opportunity and pursue my Master's in Educational Technology online starting then, so we'll see. If I don't, I'll kick myself for not trying.

The emotions, on the other hand, are kicking up. And the thought of my baby having to be under to have her tonsils removed puts me over the edge. I need to stay away from the internet....too many times I catch a story about one going in Him, trust in Him.

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